Number One:
You are your job.
Think about it, when you are bored and trying to feel like you understand the younger people of your life, what do you do? I don't know about you but I ask them what they want to be when they grow up or try to find talents or interests of theirs that could turn into a career. I NEED TO STOP. We are not our jobs or lack there of. I have no idea what we are but we are not our jobs. It is perfectly ok if you want to and are able to find a job that you feel makes the world a better place or one that you really enjoy doing, but if you need to work a job you hate that just makes fat people fatter (yay fast food) to put money in your pocket so you can eat and pay rent so you can keep on living: that is OK. That is not the end of the world. There are so many more important things to ask each other. Like what do you believe? what is your opinion on that? what do you value? what do you like doing? (and hobbies can just be hobbies) what do you have to offer the universe (we can help the world in so much more than just our jobs)? Great job to you if your career is something you like doing that fits with your beliefs and values that makes the world a better place but we can't all have that so stop acting like the whole point of childhood is putting them through a worker making machine. School is not a worker making machine. It is not even a "here's how or what to think" place. I think school should merely be a semi safe laboratory for children to experiment with what they think about the universe and how they want to exist within it.
Number Two:
You need to kiss somebody for a fulfilling life. (oh Disney)
NO.
8 year olds have boyfriends and girlfriends now a days.
When I was 8 my best friend was a boy but our hanging out involved pretending we were peter pan and captain hook and having sword fights with sticks.
TRUE STORY.
Some people fall in love eventually and that is just fine and dandy, but some people don't and that's ok too. Unless you want to be a hermit, just remember there are always moms and dads and uncles and aunts and cousins and brothers and sisters and friends and neighbours and children and the elderly and sick people and prisoners and poor people and co workers and cats and dogs and fish and ducks and trees to love and that love - whatever it is - is so much more than just romance and kissing and crap and so is life.
Number Three:
You are special.
Nope, you are human.
Do you want to know why I love Shakespeare? Because he wrote this love sonnet that basically said "you are gross and stupid and I love you anyways" and I thought "dawg, that's love." You are human and that makes you stupid and a failure and lots of people disagree with me on that but we have all heard the saying "nobody is perfect" right? So I'm just taking it a step further and saying "bro you aint perfect, ya suck" and we are capable of horrible world suck that makes me sad. But here is the deal. We can still love each other. Babies are narcissistic but we love them. That is where forgiveness comes in and forgiveness is quite possibly my favourite thing ever because it is a complex beautiful concept that actually makes sense and works. So don't make kids feel like you hate them because they are failures. Let them know, gently, that they suck and that you forgive them and love them and always will.
Number Four:
You can do anything you want to do.
My mom just smiled and nodded when I said I was going to write the great Canadian novel, but when I said I was going to climb mount Everest she told me that I couldn't.
Why? Because my mom is amazing and doesn't lie to me. I can write a good novel if I put a lot of effort into it. I couldn't climb a mountain if I tried for the rest of my life. It is ok to just not tell your kids where their limits are and let them find them for themselves, but golly gee don't make them think they have no limits. Because they do. I believe we all have gifts but I don't believe we are all gifted with everything.
Number Five
Everything is going to be ok:
You know the drill. Kid comes home crying because elementary school life is getting them down and you promise that life gets better. WHAT IF IT DOESN'T? What about homelessness, and joblessness, and suicide, and rape, and murder, and depression, and racism, and cancer, and all sickness, and confusion, and anger and abuse and all the horrible things out there. Your kid's life could be a living hell. Don't tell them it is going to get better, don't tell them you will always be there because separation is possible. Promise things you can deliver on. Tell them no matter what happens you love them. Because love goes on even through separation. Tell them that things COULD get better and to never stop trying if they can find that strength within them. Tell them you will always do your best to help them fight world suck. If you believe in God tell them about heaven and stuff but don't tell them that things will get better on earth because they might not.
I'm not saying we have to tell kids right from the womb that the world sucks. They will figure it out eventually. Just don't tell them lies. You don't have to tell them the truth full out right away. Just don't lie to your kids. It drives me crazy.
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