Pondering out Loud

I wonder what it would look like if the core of our beings could be written in words. I would love for all the tangle of thoughts, actions, needs, and speech to be written down clear for my eyes to see. What are we really at our essence? Are we just a living thing? Are we just a collection of Protons and Neutrons making atoms making molecules making bone, muscle, organs, and flesh? And what is the point of this complex thing that we are? Are we just eating and sleeping to stay alive so we can do it all over again? What about our brains? Our brains can feel emotions, they can choose to like or to dislike, and they can busy themselves all day with questions or worry. What is the point to all this activity? It confuses, confuses, confuses. There is a darkness falling like smoke because of the tangle of thoughts and feelings as all within my brain mixes with all that is in yours. There are so many lines and levels. This life is so complex I loose track of what I feel, of what I want, and of the reasons why. What is it all for?

I believe we are here. We cannot change that unless we end our lives but there is so much that we could try to enjoy, so much that we could be thankful for, so much that we could do to make the world a better place. Perhaps we just need to choose to seize the day?

If we choose to seize every moment are we living just to enjoy life because we have it so why not? Is that all there is to it?

I believe something must have happened for us to be here. Something must have caused us to exist. I believe this something or someone is so great and powerful that it is beyond my comprehension but I believe it is still active and I call it God.

I believe we were created out of love and out of love we have been sustained and saved. It is because of love that we remain and can be freed from our stains.

And here we are in the middle of the confusing life I was talking about and we need to be thankful we are clean and we need to love back because we have been loved. We were made from love to love and out of love we have been healed on the inside.

When there are so many clichés why are the answers not satisfying?

When it is possible to keep it simple why does my brain overload with all the complexities?

There has been a gnawing within me for mostly all my life and I'm wondering what do I want? What will satisfy?

If I have food and water, warmth, protection, fun, and love (though I've never learned to believe it). What more do I need?

All the thinking, the desiring and the questioning, is it worth it? Is this a waste of time, is the answer much more simple than it seems?