Poetic Musings

I am sitting on the wooden bench again. I'm watching grass dance with wind. I'm zoning out and I've got my headphones on, but the laughter still comes whistling in. A line comes through the music and it is the question of my heart, "maybe, just maybe, I've come home." I have been so many places, met so many faces, and gotten so close to love, yet there is always a but. There is always a sort of darkness in my mind that just tries and tries to stomp out the light. I close my eyes and all these places dance on by. I'm remembering all the times of this here life. When I look backwards like this it seems so beautiful. I always see the sunshine, the smiles, and the laughter. I can feel the warmth and the love and I miss those times that have passed me by now, but if I could really enter those moments I'd be back in the darkness for most of it. If I could go back I'd be lonely even when people are around, because I rarely believe it when they say they love me. Now I am not there I am here and there are worries and fears there are trials and even a few tears on the seams of my heart but there is wind and rain and sun and this love that is always here waiting for me to believe it and receive it. What will I do? Will I embrace the moment? Will I love where I am and live in this moment with joy in my heart. Will I be thankful for the poetry of a cricket orchestra? Will I sing the song and dance the dance and shine the light I was born into the earth to bring?