To those who feel like God can't use you:

Hello, as you are most likely aware, my name is Laurissa. Today, I feel like telling you a story. I am not a very talented person. For the sake of kindness and love, most of my friends would disagree with me. They are right in the sense that God has pretty much given us all some sort of gift, but if you were to just look at me without much attention given it might be hard for you to tell what my gift(s) is(are). I am not physically fit or coordinated. I am not brave, I have no rhythm, I am tone deaf, I am not much of a leader or a teacher, and I am not especially good at team work nor am I very innovative. However, I work at a camp. An adventure camp to be specific. With lots of high ropes, water sports, archery, riflery, and a worship team. I am not certified in any of the special activities and I can't help with the worship team. How does this work? When I first came here last summer I felt like I had made a really big mistake. I felt like I could not be of any use here. I still feel that way sometimes. Just yesterday I told someone I don't like adventure and they said "well you're in the wrong place then." So why did I come back? I still ask myself that sometimes. It is tough sometimes being surrounded by people with a skill set that is either very different from yours or much more various than yours or both, but I am continually reminded of two things. Number one: it aint me who is awesome, it's God. So the first reason I am here is because I'm pretty sure He wants me here. He can use anyone anywhere, because He's God and he has chosen to use ME HERE and that might seem like an odd choice, but I'm ok with it because it's God and I'm thinking He knows what He's doing. The second thing I'm constantly being reminded of here is that He HAS given me some gifts. They aren't necessarily the same gifts as those around me. I don't necessarily have as many gifts or as much of a variety as gifts as others, and I'm not necessarily as well versed at using my gifts as others are, but I think He has given me gifts that He wants to help me learn how to use.

So that's my little speech, but here is the story I promised you:

Last year a couple weeks into camp I was feeling pretty down. I had tried really hard to get certified, but it didn't work so I was leading a lot of random activities that don't require certifications. People were trying to convince me that people were needed for these activities too and that there were not a whole lot of people who could bring as much enthusiasm and energy to these random activities as I could, but I didn't necessarily believe them. Then something quite interesting happened. I heard that someone was still needed to work one on one with a guest who was coming to the camp for the rest of the summer. I already had experience working one on one with people and it's something I love to do. Not only that, but just because of the way this camp works the only people who could switch over to this other job were female assistant cabin leaders which just happens to be what I was. However, I have a lot of trouble with confidence, so I thought to myself: I won't be good at this, someone else will do a better job. So I didn't tell them I wanted to do it and, though I didn't know it, they kept searching with no real leads. I did do one good thing though, I prayed. It was kind of a funny prayer, but it worked. This is what I prayed "Hey God, I really want to do this thing, but I don't think You want me to. I think You probably haven't called or equipped me to do this. You are probably going to provide someone who would be much better at this. However, just in case I am misunderstanding You, I want You to know that I really do want to do whatever You want me to do. Therefore, if You actually want me to do this, You know how my mind works better than anyone and You know how to change it and I would love for You to change my mind to suit Your will, whatever Your will is."

So a little while after I prayed that slightly odd prayer one of my boss/ supervisor type people came up to me and said they still needed someone to do this job and they thought I would be good at it, would I be willing? I was blown away. God knows that I have trouble saying no to people when they need my help, and He also knows that I needed to know that someone else thought I could do the job and that there was no one else available who was capable or willing to do a better job. He knew how to change my mind and He did. It was kind of funny in a way.

Anyways that is my story from last year. The moral is that God doesn't just utilise super duper awesome folks, he can utilise you too, have no fear. It's a lesson I'm learning again and again and again, but hey that's ok. Here's to continued learning.