The topics on my mind right now are burnout and self care.
I believe base line self care is taking care of our basic needs. By this I mean eating contextually appropriate food*, drinking water, sleeping, exercising, and taking any needed medications.
I believe it is OK if you need to say no to something else to find time to do these things, even if that something else is helping someone.
However, I do think we need to be careful that self care does not become an excuse to be selfish.
I have discovered that almost everything in life is about balance. I need to be careful not to judge other people who are trying to figure this self care thing out. It is complicated. I think it is pretty easy to get out of balance. I do not know the full back story behind other people's actions and at the end of the day I just want everyone in the world to know peace. That said, I definitely sense a trend of self care that is really just selfishness. This is often tied to the self care that is just capitalism. Spas, baths, herbal tea, candles, face masks, yoga classes, and meditation apps on your phone are all products associated with self care. If these things help you find peace without costing you more time, money, and other resources than it makes sense to you for you to be spending, then OK, go ahead, have fun. However, I think we need to be cautious about three things.
1. We should not want to be taken advantage of by companies that claim to be our tool to peace, but are really just taking advantage of our misery and receptiveness to buzzwords to take our money.
2. We should not just swamp our to do lists with self care activities and stress ourselves out more that way.
3. We should not stop caring about the least of these in our lives.
On that last point I have some more to say, and again I really have to be careful not to judge because I do not know the full picture, but I can share what I see and hopefully it will get you thinking, I am probably wrong about everything, but how will I ever know that if you don't read my thoughts and set me straight? (That was not sarcasm, please set me straight!) I see some people who are like "butter scraped over too much bread" (thanks Tolkien) because they are trying so hard to be there for the people in their life. These are the people who may need to make sure they are eating, drinking water, sleeping, exercising, taking any needed medications, light a candle, go to a spa, have a bath, drink some herbal tea, put on a face mask, take a yoga class, meditate, pet a puppy, hang out with friends, or take up a fun hobby. However, there are some people who talk all the time about leaving toxic people behind (but in a way that makes me wonder if the people they are leaving are really toxic) and who seem to do all of the above activities all the time and never seem to care about anyone who is hurting. Honestly, it is entirely possible that I am just being judgmental, but if so I am not the only one. Heck, College Humor even created a video on this topic back in 2016 called "You Can Be Terrible if You Call It "Self-Care." I mean unpopular opinion, but I don't understand why so many people are worried about being taken advantage of. If you can give then why not do it? I worry that we are going towards a world where no one cares about anyone else and the only relationships allowed are those that are perfectly give and take meaning that people really struggling who do not have much to give will just get left behind. I do also worry for those who are actually falling apart because they are giving too much. However, at the end of the day only you can decide if you are doing too much or too little for the least of these. Only you can decide if you need more self care or not. I just ask that you put some thought into it.
The last thing that I have to say is that I think that some burnout is systemic making self care next to impossible. I believe some jobs are set up in ways that naturally break people down. In these cases, self care is actually an excuse to blame individuals for breaking down saying the work load is fine and they just aren't taking care of themselves when what is really needed is some big picture change.
If you actually read all of this I really hope that I did not hurt your feelings. I do not care if you like candles and face masks and leaving toxic people behind or if you like spreading yourself too thin. I may not understand it which means that I do not know what I should do which is why I need to process it in this matter, but I am not judging you. I just want you to find peace and I just want to find peace.
*I subscribe to the philosophy that there is no bad food or good food, because such labels can be harmful to those struggling with an eating disorder, however, I think it is important to listen to our body and give it what it needs which is what I mean by eating contextually.
I believe base line self care is taking care of our basic needs. By this I mean eating contextually appropriate food*, drinking water, sleeping, exercising, and taking any needed medications.
I believe it is OK if you need to say no to something else to find time to do these things, even if that something else is helping someone.
However, I do think we need to be careful that self care does not become an excuse to be selfish.
I have discovered that almost everything in life is about balance. I need to be careful not to judge other people who are trying to figure this self care thing out. It is complicated. I think it is pretty easy to get out of balance. I do not know the full back story behind other people's actions and at the end of the day I just want everyone in the world to know peace. That said, I definitely sense a trend of self care that is really just selfishness. This is often tied to the self care that is just capitalism. Spas, baths, herbal tea, candles, face masks, yoga classes, and meditation apps on your phone are all products associated with self care. If these things help you find peace without costing you more time, money, and other resources than it makes sense to you for you to be spending, then OK, go ahead, have fun. However, I think we need to be cautious about three things.
1. We should not want to be taken advantage of by companies that claim to be our tool to peace, but are really just taking advantage of our misery and receptiveness to buzzwords to take our money.
2. We should not just swamp our to do lists with self care activities and stress ourselves out more that way.
3. We should not stop caring about the least of these in our lives.
On that last point I have some more to say, and again I really have to be careful not to judge because I do not know the full picture, but I can share what I see and hopefully it will get you thinking, I am probably wrong about everything, but how will I ever know that if you don't read my thoughts and set me straight? (That was not sarcasm, please set me straight!) I see some people who are like "butter scraped over too much bread" (thanks Tolkien) because they are trying so hard to be there for the people in their life. These are the people who may need to make sure they are eating, drinking water, sleeping, exercising, taking any needed medications, light a candle, go to a spa, have a bath, drink some herbal tea, put on a face mask, take a yoga class, meditate, pet a puppy, hang out with friends, or take up a fun hobby. However, there are some people who talk all the time about leaving toxic people behind (but in a way that makes me wonder if the people they are leaving are really toxic) and who seem to do all of the above activities all the time and never seem to care about anyone who is hurting. Honestly, it is entirely possible that I am just being judgmental, but if so I am not the only one. Heck, College Humor even created a video on this topic back in 2016 called "You Can Be Terrible if You Call It "Self-Care." I mean unpopular opinion, but I don't understand why so many people are worried about being taken advantage of. If you can give then why not do it? I worry that we are going towards a world where no one cares about anyone else and the only relationships allowed are those that are perfectly give and take meaning that people really struggling who do not have much to give will just get left behind. I do also worry for those who are actually falling apart because they are giving too much. However, at the end of the day only you can decide if you are doing too much or too little for the least of these. Only you can decide if you need more self care or not. I just ask that you put some thought into it.
The last thing that I have to say is that I think that some burnout is systemic making self care next to impossible. I believe some jobs are set up in ways that naturally break people down. In these cases, self care is actually an excuse to blame individuals for breaking down saying the work load is fine and they just aren't taking care of themselves when what is really needed is some big picture change.
If you actually read all of this I really hope that I did not hurt your feelings. I do not care if you like candles and face masks and leaving toxic people behind or if you like spreading yourself too thin. I may not understand it which means that I do not know what I should do which is why I need to process it in this matter, but I am not judging you. I just want you to find peace and I just want to find peace.
*I subscribe to the philosophy that there is no bad food or good food, because such labels can be harmful to those struggling with an eating disorder, however, I think it is important to listen to our body and give it what it needs which is what I mean by eating contextually.
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