Why I Hate Essentially Everything Ever Written to Single Christians

There are so many things that I see on a daily basis that are directed towards single Christians that just make me groan. The interesting thing is that they make me groan for quite a variety of different reasons. Sometimes I will see two posts that almost contradict each other and yet both of them make me mad. I am trying to respect my single friends who have views that differ from mine. We are all stumbling along through life trying to figure it out and that’s cool, but I do want to share my perspective while admitting that I could be wrong. First I would like to talk about the phrase “Date when you are ready, not when you are lonely.” Being lonely is a legitimate problem! God created Eve because “It is not good that the man should be alone.” Christians always say that God loves us and we should value Him more than some other human, which is true, and yet Adam had God and God still gave him a partner. Yes, I hope that all my single friends will be able to find joy and peace though they are alone, but I don’t want them to feel like they are a horrible person for feeling lonely. That is a legitimate feeling. Also what the heck does it mean to be ready for a relationship? I hate this idea that we have to sit around and become perfect for our future spouse for two reasons. The first is that no one is perfect, even married people; I know this for a fact, because I have married relatives and friends. Yes, there are some tools we need to start a lifelong relationship and sometimes I am glad I am not in a relationship because I don’t have certain tools like trust and communication, but people in relationships are going to be growing and learning their whole lives just like the rest of us. The other reason that I hate this idea of waiting around perfecting myself for some dude is that it makes it seem like my life has no value until I am married and everything I am doing now is only valuable if it is preparation for the future. That’s dumb. I have value as an individual and I am doing things for others or myself that have nothing to do with some random dude I may or may not marry some day, but these things still matter. Even my growth has purpose outside of a future marriage. Will a future husband benefit from any maturing I do now? Yes, but myself and my friends and strangers on the street will also benefit from it and the difference is that we are benefiting from it now not in some magical tomorrow land. That is why I hate the tradition of talking about and writing to a future spouse. For one thing you don’t even know if they exist. You might be writing to a fictional character, and I mean there is nothing wrong with that, in fact maybe I’ll go write Anne of Green Gables a letter, but I don’t want to spend my entire life obsessing over someone who doesn’t exist. I do love that people who do this kind of stuff are acknowledging that it is not wrong to admit you are lonely and want a future spouse, but I want you to know the joys of right now! Good food and drink, friends and family, pets, nature, working hard, a child holding your hand! There are so many things that bring joy other than just romance. This is something I hate about the culture even outside of the church. I want more movies, songs, and books about something other than romance. Ok that’s it. My rant is over.