Wednesday, 8 October 2014

Reading the Bible

I'm sitting on the front steps watching the wind dance through the trees. Listening to the leaves joining in. My  own hair tries to dance off my head. It is a beautiful afternoon. My one hand is wrapped around a mug of tea soaking in the warmth on this cold October day. My other hand holds tight to a pen. There is a book laying open on my lap. It is a well read book with wrinkled pages covered in colorful markings. I haven't read it in months. I feel my stomach tighten the way it always does when I read this book because this book reminds me that I am not what I would like to be someday. There is a light I can sometimes see, dim though it often shines in this dark world of mine, and I want to see more of that light in me, but the darkness of the world crowds its way into my heart and I'm growing weary of the endless days of monotonous pain for the way things are and the way they could be. I want to close the book and put it away because it hurts too much, but it stays open. Where is that neighbour's cat when I need a hug? My eyes are on the page although my mind is racing around in circles. Something causes me to pause. "Abide in my love." It sounds simple enough. Cut through the pain and the worry and take it back to what I think it was meant to be all along. But how do I do it? Can I drink it in the way I do the warmth and comfort of a mug of tea. Can I sit inside it like a windy day? Letting the beauty of it all change me. The way I enter the house more thankful and at peace after a long walk in the woods. I still do not understand. But I am not done with this book just yet.

No comments:

Post a Comment