where I explore belonging, community, rootedness and stuff

I wary of saying that things are no longer what they were. One of my professors said that this kind of talk is usually misplaced. Yes, some things have changed, but a lot has stayed the same. However, I cannot help but feel that this generation is as another one of my professors used to say a people of scattered hearts. There was a time when people would have lived in the same place as where their great grandparents were born, but now it is slowly getting to almost be rare to even live where you were born.

Like many things there is a good side and a bad side to this phenomenon. Leaving behind the place where we were born can allow us to leave behind the perspectives we were born into and explore new ones.

However, as Marcel Proust said, "The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes."

 

What we lose as travellers and seekers is a feeling of rootedness and belonging. We also lose the lesson of learning to love the people who have been placed in our lives rather than searching for loveable people.

 

Once again I need to posit a however. Learning to live with others is something we need to be very careful about. I don't think we should go out looking for like minded people. If that is what you believe, then good luck with that, but I think it is important for us to surround ourselves with varying perspectives. I think this because I believe that it will help everyone to really question what they believe and why and assist each other in a journey towards truth.

 

However, the type of a life that I am suggesting - the one where we dig roots down in a community of people we don't even agree with - brings with it a whole complex set of difficulties. Disagreements will happen and they will be confusing and even hurtful.

 

Something that has helped me is that once my friend said "if we expect people to see the truth in what we say and change their mind we are asking them to be open to the idea that they might be wrong. If that is what we expect from them, then we too must be open to the idea that we might be wrong." If we are open to this fact it helps us really listen to why the other person believes what they believe because we are wondering if they could be right and this brings us to wonder if we have good reason for believing what we believe.

 

What happens when two people have a conversation and say "I've listened to the other person's reasons but they don't seem like good reasons to me. They have listened to my reasons but don't understand them. We still disagree. We are at a stale mate but it is not about something little, it is about something huge. It is a belief that we both hold to be very important to us."

 

This is a very interesting question. One I haven't answered yet. Maybe you need to continue to be that person's friend while continuing to disagree. Maybe your friendship needs to end. Maybe your friendship simply changes a little. Maybe what happens will depend on all the details of each situation.

 

What I do believe is that you should not fight to become part of a friendship or community where you have to give up your beliefs to be part of the community. It is important that communities be open to discussion in order to come to a closer understanding of the truth, but if you straight up disagree you either learn how to continue to be part of the community while disagreeing with the others, or you get out of there.

What breaks my heart and what I think may be the cause of the restlessness and rootlessness in our society is communities that demand that people give up who they are in order to join.

 

I desperately want to belong somewhere, but I am a questioner and although there are things I am willing to give up and although I want to seek out people I disagree with, I want to belong somewhere that allows questions and allows me to be who I am and believe what I believe and struggle with what I struggle with.