To the inmost part of my being I say:
Won't you remember by whom you were made?
Each morning, when I open my eyes,
I want to remember the Lord
And all He has done for me.
Oh my mind and my heart,
Why do you still doubt?
Have not you tasted the goodness of God?
Have not you see the truth of His love?
Oh mind of mine,
Why do you focus so on mere mirages?
Oh heart of mine,
Please remember your true love.
Oh Lord please renew my life,
Make me as the storms and the sun:
A poem proclaiming Your majesty
And a vessel of Your love.
Sunday, 26 May 2013
Saturday, 25 May 2013
Marriage.
Ok this is a very awkward post for me to write, but yah know what? I don't care. So here is the thing, I am a 21 year old single woman and it feels like everyone around me is getting engaged, married, or pregnant. I know it sounds so lame to say it straight out like that. That is why I only normally talk about this stuff with my closest friends. I am a very open person, but this is one thing that I lie about with most people. "Oh everyone's getting married, that's lame, I'm going to have adventures and love the world on my own, I don't need a husband." And it's true I don't, all I NEED is Jesus, but I think it's fairly natural to desire marriage. I don't really understand marriage. It's embarrassing to admit but I'm a very slow person. It takes me a very long time to understand things and love still confuses the potatoes out of me. Therefore, I am completely content with being single for the moment as I grow in my faith and my understanding of...well...everything. That part isn't a lie. However, being a human being, I get this worry that I'm doing things horribly wrong as I watch what feels like everyone I know go off and do all the normal things of getting a job, a husband, a house, and a baby while I still feel like a confused adolescent.
I remember laughing at my sister's wedding. My sister and my brother in law were crying and half of everyone assembled was crying too and I was standing in the back just chuckling to myself...my brother in-law's cousin gave me one odd look. The reason for my laughter was this: my sister is two years older than me, and in the past what my sister did (learn to read, learn to ride a bike, go to high-school, go to university) I usually did anywhere from 1-3 years later. Well two years later and I'm not even dating anyone let alone engaged or married and at the time I knew that would be the case and it wasn't so much that I was upset by that fact but just bewildered by how my sister could be so grown up with a husband and a real job and now a little baby growing in her belly and here I am and I still feel so young and lost and confused and it felt funny to me. It felt like my sister was still a little girl pretending to be a grown up. It reminded me of the one time when I was very young that I pretended to marry a cat. My sister pretended to be the minister and I carried the cat down the aisle (an ally-way beside my house) in a basket and then kissed him on the nose and then the cat jumped out of the basket and ran away. :P At my sister's wedding, I felt like there was no way she could be a real adult because I didn't feel anywhere close to being an adult so it felt like another game to me and I laughed.
Now I'm starting to realise that my sister isn't playing a game. This is legit, my friends and family are becoming grown ups and two years later I STILL feel like a child. It feels like everyone is growing up. My sister and her best friend from way back both got married in the past few years. Eight friends of mine from high school are engaged or married, and six friends of mine from university are engaged or married who were not engaged/married when I met them. When I write out the numbers like that it isn't really that many people, just 16, but it feels like a lot when it is all happening at the same time. It doesn't really bother me that this stuff isn't happening to me right now because I truly and actually am content with my life right now, that part of what I say to people isn't a lie. The lie is when I say I want this moment to last forever and I never want to live the 'normal' life because I hate boxes and I'm all for being unique. To be 100 % honest (and this is really hard for me in this area) I see nothing wrong with having a family. A family isn't a box, a family is a beautiful thing. I don't think people need to get married and have kids, but I also don't think there is anything wrong with doing so. The only reason I say that I don't want one is because I honestly am afraid that there is something wrong or different about me and that I will never have a family. I feel incapable of growing up and so I'm trying to cover up whatever is wrong with me and just say that I'm different and unique and I'm not going to grow up the same way as everyone else, which could very well be true, or perhaps I'm just going to grow up slower. I have absolutely no idea, but the point is this: I shouldn't have to lie about what goes on inside my mind. I shouldn't have to be ashamed either of my desire for a family or the fact that my life looks different from many of those around me. Both of these things are perfectly normal and natural and I'm not the only person experiencing them. This is why I'm writing this. Because I KNOW there are other folks like me out there. I feel really embarrassed to write this but I don't think I should have to and that's why I am doing it. I want you to know that you aren't alone.
I also think that it is ok to be different. Maybe I am never going to get married and that's fine too, and I honestly am content with not being married in this moment, in this moment I don't want to be married. I would like to be married in the future and for some strange reason I am ashamed of this desire, probably because I'm worried that I will never get married and that if that is the case it is somehow wrong of me to want to get married, but here's the thing, how am I supposed to know what is going to happen in the future? If I get married, sweet, if I don't, sweet. Either way there will be mountains and valleys and I will lean on God to get through them and learn how to let Him work through me wherever I am and whoever I'm with and whatever I'm doing. The future is the future and it will be ok one way or another or it won't and that's ok too. But for the moment, as happy as I am with the way things are I have desires for the future. And if my desires don't come to pass that is ok, I hope I will come to desire what I have. BUT I don't think I should have to be ashamed of having a specific desire for the future, I can't help it, its just a desire, and if it doesn't come to past it doesn't come to past who cares I'll cross that bridge later. I also don't think I should have to be ashamed of being different. Obviously I'm not going to be one of those people who marries super duper young, and you know what that's ok. Why should I be ashamed of this? That's just silly. I am who I am and you are who you are, we are all unique. It sounds lame like a kindergarten class but its really true.
Ok, well that's all I have to say. It was long I'm sorry. It was also really hard for me, and I'm really embarrassed to write about this, but I feel like it's good to be honest and just say it like it is because I know there are other folks out there thinking the same thoughts. If you think this was dumb and I'm the stupidest person you've ever met I really am sorry. I am a little stupid, I told you I'm still a dumb teenager basically, but I'm trying to grow up I swear.
I remember laughing at my sister's wedding. My sister and my brother in law were crying and half of everyone assembled was crying too and I was standing in the back just chuckling to myself...my brother in-law's cousin gave me one odd look. The reason for my laughter was this: my sister is two years older than me, and in the past what my sister did (learn to read, learn to ride a bike, go to high-school, go to university) I usually did anywhere from 1-3 years later. Well two years later and I'm not even dating anyone let alone engaged or married and at the time I knew that would be the case and it wasn't so much that I was upset by that fact but just bewildered by how my sister could be so grown up with a husband and a real job and now a little baby growing in her belly and here I am and I still feel so young and lost and confused and it felt funny to me. It felt like my sister was still a little girl pretending to be a grown up. It reminded me of the one time when I was very young that I pretended to marry a cat. My sister pretended to be the minister and I carried the cat down the aisle (an ally-way beside my house) in a basket and then kissed him on the nose and then the cat jumped out of the basket and ran away. :P At my sister's wedding, I felt like there was no way she could be a real adult because I didn't feel anywhere close to being an adult so it felt like another game to me and I laughed.
Now I'm starting to realise that my sister isn't playing a game. This is legit, my friends and family are becoming grown ups and two years later I STILL feel like a child. It feels like everyone is growing up. My sister and her best friend from way back both got married in the past few years. Eight friends of mine from high school are engaged or married, and six friends of mine from university are engaged or married who were not engaged/married when I met them. When I write out the numbers like that it isn't really that many people, just 16, but it feels like a lot when it is all happening at the same time. It doesn't really bother me that this stuff isn't happening to me right now because I truly and actually am content with my life right now, that part of what I say to people isn't a lie. The lie is when I say I want this moment to last forever and I never want to live the 'normal' life because I hate boxes and I'm all for being unique. To be 100 % honest (and this is really hard for me in this area) I see nothing wrong with having a family. A family isn't a box, a family is a beautiful thing. I don't think people need to get married and have kids, but I also don't think there is anything wrong with doing so. The only reason I say that I don't want one is because I honestly am afraid that there is something wrong or different about me and that I will never have a family. I feel incapable of growing up and so I'm trying to cover up whatever is wrong with me and just say that I'm different and unique and I'm not going to grow up the same way as everyone else, which could very well be true, or perhaps I'm just going to grow up slower. I have absolutely no idea, but the point is this: I shouldn't have to lie about what goes on inside my mind. I shouldn't have to be ashamed either of my desire for a family or the fact that my life looks different from many of those around me. Both of these things are perfectly normal and natural and I'm not the only person experiencing them. This is why I'm writing this. Because I KNOW there are other folks like me out there. I feel really embarrassed to write this but I don't think I should have to and that's why I am doing it. I want you to know that you aren't alone.
I also think that it is ok to be different. Maybe I am never going to get married and that's fine too, and I honestly am content with not being married in this moment, in this moment I don't want to be married. I would like to be married in the future and for some strange reason I am ashamed of this desire, probably because I'm worried that I will never get married and that if that is the case it is somehow wrong of me to want to get married, but here's the thing, how am I supposed to know what is going to happen in the future? If I get married, sweet, if I don't, sweet. Either way there will be mountains and valleys and I will lean on God to get through them and learn how to let Him work through me wherever I am and whoever I'm with and whatever I'm doing. The future is the future and it will be ok one way or another or it won't and that's ok too. But for the moment, as happy as I am with the way things are I have desires for the future. And if my desires don't come to pass that is ok, I hope I will come to desire what I have. BUT I don't think I should have to be ashamed of having a specific desire for the future, I can't help it, its just a desire, and if it doesn't come to past it doesn't come to past who cares I'll cross that bridge later. I also don't think I should have to be ashamed of being different. Obviously I'm not going to be one of those people who marries super duper young, and you know what that's ok. Why should I be ashamed of this? That's just silly. I am who I am and you are who you are, we are all unique. It sounds lame like a kindergarten class but its really true.
Ok, well that's all I have to say. It was long I'm sorry. It was also really hard for me, and I'm really embarrassed to write about this, but I feel like it's good to be honest and just say it like it is because I know there are other folks out there thinking the same thoughts. If you think this was dumb and I'm the stupidest person you've ever met I really am sorry. I am a little stupid, I told you I'm still a dumb teenager basically, but I'm trying to grow up I swear.
Friday, 24 May 2013
How to Survive French Immersion For Begginners
Step One: have a sense of humour. Laughter needs no translation, and everything is easier if you don't take it too seriously.
Step Two: Perfect your "I-have-no-idea-what-your-saying-but-I'm-a-lovely-person-so-don't-be-mad-at-me-for-not-understanding-you" smile.
Step Three: Get good at miming stuff.
Step Four: Watch peoples facial expressions to figure out what kind of response they want from you.
Step Five: Learn how to shut up and listen, this will be helpful for many other aspects of your life as well.
Final Step/Step Six: Learn a couple key and useful phrases like...
1. How do you say (English word) in French?
Comment dit-on (mot Anglais) en Francais?
2. How do you say (French word) in English?
Qu'est-ce que vous dites (mot Français) en Anglais?
3. What is this?
C'est quoi ça?
4. Can you speak more slowly.
Pouvez - vous parles plus lentement.
5. Can you repeat?
Pouvez-vous repeater
6. Can you help me? (Can I help you?)
Est-ce que tu peaux aider (Est-ce que je peaux aider)
7. I don't understand. (I understand)
Je ne comprends pas (Je comprend)
8. I don't know. (I know)
Je ne sais pas (Je sais)
9. How do you spell/write it?
Comment ca secrit (there are accents in this one that I can't manage to add sorry)
10. Good day I am called (name), I am from (place), and I study (subject) at (university) in (city).
Bonjour, je m'appelle (nom), je suis originaire de (lieu), et J'étudie (sujet) à (université) à (ville).
10. What is your name?
Comment t'appelles - tu?
12. How are you?
Comment Ca(an accent on the Ca I think)Va?
13. It goes well
Ca Va Bien
14. And you?
Et toi?
15. Have a good day.
Bonne journée
16. Goodbye.
au revoir
Step Two: Perfect your "I-have-no-idea-what-your-saying-but-I'm-a-lovely-person-so-don't-be-mad-at-me-for-not-understanding-you" smile.
Step Three: Get good at miming stuff.
Step Four: Watch peoples facial expressions to figure out what kind of response they want from you.
Step Five: Learn how to shut up and listen, this will be helpful for many other aspects of your life as well.
Final Step/Step Six: Learn a couple key and useful phrases like...
1. How do you say (English word) in French?
Comment dit-on (mot Anglais) en Francais?
2. How do you say (French word) in English?
Qu'est-ce que vous dites (mot Français) en Anglais?
3. What is this?
C'est quoi ça?
4. Can you speak more slowly.
Pouvez - vous parles plus lentement.
5. Can you repeat?
Pouvez-vous repeater
6. Can you help me? (Can I help you?)
Est-ce que tu peaux aider (Est-ce que je peaux aider)
7. I don't understand. (I understand)
Je ne comprends pas (Je comprend)
8. I don't know. (I know)
Je ne sais pas (Je sais)
9. How do you spell/write it?
Comment ca secrit (there are accents in this one that I can't manage to add sorry)
10. Good day I am called (name), I am from (place), and I study (subject) at (university) in (city).
Bonjour, je m'appelle (nom), je suis originaire de (lieu), et J'étudie (sujet) à (université) à (ville).
10. What is your name?
Comment t'appelles - tu?
12. How are you?
Comment Ca(an accent on the Ca I think)Va?
13. It goes well
Ca Va Bien
14. And you?
Et toi?
15. Have a good day.
Bonne journée
16. Goodbye.
au revoir
Thursday, 23 May 2013
An Open Letter to Hardworking Christians
(Note: this isn't meant as a "oh let me tell you" I am writing it as a letter for artistic reasons but, in actuality, I'm just thinking out loud about life in general)
Dear hardworking Christian,
So it is the end of another long day.
A difficult day of work, school, volunteering, job hunting, cooking, cleaning...
Whatever it was that you did, I know how much effort you put into it.
Don't think I haven't noticed how hard you have been working, because I have.
No matter how hard you are trying to do it in the shadow -
For the glory of God rather than honour or praise.
I also know how hard you tried to walk in His ways today.
I saw the fist clench and unclench,
Heard the below the breath count to ten.
I know you would have liked to swing a punch,
But you refrained.
Now in this quiet moment,
As you bight back the complaints,
Do up the dishes and dream of sleep,
I have something to say to you.
I see the tenseness in your shoulders,
I see the weight that you are carrying,
A weight of guilt
And of worry
That you won't fulfill your responsibility.
In this moment, this small and quiet moment,
I want to remind you of the Grace in which you believe.
And I want to ask you some questions
And remind you of your reasons.
Why did you respect your customers, co-workers clients, boss, classmates or teacher?
Why did you feed the hungry?
Why did you carry your share of responsibility?
Why did you refrain from swinging that punch?
Why did you bight back the complaint?
Why do you do anything?
What motivates your life?
Is it not the love and grace and mercy of the Lord?
As you look back on your day and despair the anger, frustration, impatience, and discontent in your heart,
Maybe you have set your mind to doing better tomorrow,
Maybe your sliding closer to giving up.
Let me remind you that you will never be good enough,
But let me remind you that you are forgiven,
Let me remind you that you are loved.
And this life that you are daily living?
It is not a dutiful march.
One who is better than you will ever be
Took on all that you deserve.
Now your life is not a striving
To earn a better end,
Your life is a dance of thanks,
But thank-you dances
Can't be danced
By ungrateful wretches,
You need to remember
For what it is that you are grateful.
Please take a moment to remember the grace an love you have been given, and to rest in it.
Yes God is molding you
Teaching you to be his hands and feet
As you grow in love for others,
But let go of the guilt for the love you have not given,
Let go of the stress for the love you need to give,
And just take five minutes to remember
The love YOU have ALREADY BEEN given.
With love from another tired soul.
(NOTE: Maybe this is bogus nonsense, I'm sorry)
Dear hardworking Christian,
So it is the end of another long day.
A difficult day of work, school, volunteering, job hunting, cooking, cleaning...
Whatever it was that you did, I know how much effort you put into it.
Don't think I haven't noticed how hard you have been working, because I have.
No matter how hard you are trying to do it in the shadow -
For the glory of God rather than honour or praise.
I also know how hard you tried to walk in His ways today.
I saw the fist clench and unclench,
Heard the below the breath count to ten.
I know you would have liked to swing a punch,
But you refrained.
Now in this quiet moment,
As you bight back the complaints,
Do up the dishes and dream of sleep,
I have something to say to you.
I see the tenseness in your shoulders,
I see the weight that you are carrying,
A weight of guilt
And of worry
That you won't fulfill your responsibility.
In this moment, this small and quiet moment,
I want to remind you of the Grace in which you believe.
And I want to ask you some questions
And remind you of your reasons.
Why did you respect your customers, co-workers clients, boss, classmates or teacher?
Why did you feed the hungry?
Why did you carry your share of responsibility?
Why did you refrain from swinging that punch?
Why did you bight back the complaint?
Why do you do anything?
What motivates your life?
Is it not the love and grace and mercy of the Lord?
As you look back on your day and despair the anger, frustration, impatience, and discontent in your heart,
Maybe you have set your mind to doing better tomorrow,
Maybe your sliding closer to giving up.
Let me remind you that you will never be good enough,
But let me remind you that you are forgiven,
Let me remind you that you are loved.
And this life that you are daily living?
It is not a dutiful march.
One who is better than you will ever be
Took on all that you deserve.
Now your life is not a striving
To earn a better end,
Your life is a dance of thanks,
But thank-you dances
Can't be danced
By ungrateful wretches,
You need to remember
For what it is that you are grateful.
Please take a moment to remember the grace an love you have been given, and to rest in it.
Yes God is molding you
Teaching you to be his hands and feet
As you grow in love for others,
But let go of the guilt for the love you have not given,
Let go of the stress for the love you need to give,
And just take five minutes to remember
The love YOU have ALREADY BEEN given.
With love from another tired soul.
(NOTE: Maybe this is bogus nonsense, I'm sorry)
Sunday, 19 May 2013
Thoughts of an Exploer
I am not much of a traveler. I have been around Ontario a fair bit but I have only left Ontario three times. Once I went on week long volunteering excursion with my church to a small town in Kansas. A bunch of us youth slept in a school and in the day we painted houses and stuff. Two summers ago I worked as a camp counselor on a reserve in Northern Quebec. This is my third time leaving Ontario. I am living with two other female students in the house of a very nice man in a small town In Quebec. During the week I go to a school to learn French.
It is not that I don't enjoy journeys. I love to watch through a window as I drift past trees, lakes, rivers, hills, and fields. There is something about the movement of a car or bus that I find to be very peaceful and for some reason I love having all my things with me in a suitcase. The journey is poetic! :)
However, leaving is very difficult for me. I become very attached to people and places very quickly. It is difficult for me to leave. It helps if I know where I'm going because then I can think of the people and places that I love that I am about to see again. Even then it can be difficult. When I travel between my home at school and my home with my family I feel torn. It is even harder for me to go where I have never gone. It's not that I don't like discovering new places, I do, and like I said, I get attached quickly, but it is oh so hard for me to leave one place in order to discover another. I think part of the reason might be because I am uncertain if the people I am leaving love me as much as I love them, and I am uncertain if I truly belong in that place.
I enjoy traveling and seeing new places but when I do it I feel like I'm sprinkling my heart all over the world and it makes me feel weak. I wish I could gather everyone, everything, and everywhere I love in one small area of the earth. A little place where I could truly belong and my heart would be whole.
I can't help but wonder if I was made for growing roots not wings.
Once I got here I got used to the idea of being away from home. I don't miss it quite as much as I thought I would.
I find that ever since I began University traveling makes me wonder where my home is. I start to feel at home wherever I am (a reserve, a camp, a small Quebec town, the place where I go to school) and I can't help but wonder if I really have a home anywhere or if I am home everywhere or if no where is my home?
I am very lucky to have sweet room mates and a kind host here.
It is hard for me to make friends. This may surprise some people because I am very outgoing and talkative, and, like I said, I get attached to people, places, and things quickly and I open up quickly too, but it takes me a while to feel truly comfortable around people. Maybe that is why I wonder if I have a home, because as much as I love wherever I am and whoever I am with I never quite feel as if I am home.
I often sit by myself and things like that. However I have managed to make a few friends already and that makes it easier.
It is a difficult experience just because I am not allowed to speak English. I am in the primary class and I don't know much French at all. I have already learned a little though.
I struggle a lot with guilt as you will know if you often read the nonsense that comes out of my head. I feel guilty for not having studied French before and I am embarrassed by how little I know but everyone is very nice and I am quickly getting used to it all.
It is also nice just to have a chance to see things and be a tourist. The Saint Lawrence River is so beautiful!
This may sound odd to you but I am finding comfort in thinking that God loves me even if I get kicked out of school for talking English, or I fail my class, or I finish without learning anything. I know it may seem odd, but I get a lot of comfort from the knowledge that His love for me is all about what Jesus did and not about what I do. It takes off all the pressure to be an awesome person, succeed at everything and change the world for the better. When there is no pressure, I feel free to do better. It's weird, I guess.
Perhaps I should also be encouraged by the fact that I have a home with Jesus.
He will always love me and I will always belong with Him even if I never truly belong anywhere on this here earth.
Well there you have it, my thoughts. Pretty dull and sappy eh? I am sorry.
It is not that I don't enjoy journeys. I love to watch through a window as I drift past trees, lakes, rivers, hills, and fields. There is something about the movement of a car or bus that I find to be very peaceful and for some reason I love having all my things with me in a suitcase. The journey is poetic! :)
However, leaving is very difficult for me. I become very attached to people and places very quickly. It is difficult for me to leave. It helps if I know where I'm going because then I can think of the people and places that I love that I am about to see again. Even then it can be difficult. When I travel between my home at school and my home with my family I feel torn. It is even harder for me to go where I have never gone. It's not that I don't like discovering new places, I do, and like I said, I get attached quickly, but it is oh so hard for me to leave one place in order to discover another. I think part of the reason might be because I am uncertain if the people I am leaving love me as much as I love them, and I am uncertain if I truly belong in that place.
I enjoy traveling and seeing new places but when I do it I feel like I'm sprinkling my heart all over the world and it makes me feel weak. I wish I could gather everyone, everything, and everywhere I love in one small area of the earth. A little place where I could truly belong and my heart would be whole.
I can't help but wonder if I was made for growing roots not wings.
Once I got here I got used to the idea of being away from home. I don't miss it quite as much as I thought I would.
I find that ever since I began University traveling makes me wonder where my home is. I start to feel at home wherever I am (a reserve, a camp, a small Quebec town, the place where I go to school) and I can't help but wonder if I really have a home anywhere or if I am home everywhere or if no where is my home?
I am very lucky to have sweet room mates and a kind host here.
It is hard for me to make friends. This may surprise some people because I am very outgoing and talkative, and, like I said, I get attached to people, places, and things quickly and I open up quickly too, but it takes me a while to feel truly comfortable around people. Maybe that is why I wonder if I have a home, because as much as I love wherever I am and whoever I am with I never quite feel as if I am home.
I often sit by myself and things like that. However I have managed to make a few friends already and that makes it easier.
It is a difficult experience just because I am not allowed to speak English. I am in the primary class and I don't know much French at all. I have already learned a little though.
I struggle a lot with guilt as you will know if you often read the nonsense that comes out of my head. I feel guilty for not having studied French before and I am embarrassed by how little I know but everyone is very nice and I am quickly getting used to it all.
It is also nice just to have a chance to see things and be a tourist. The Saint Lawrence River is so beautiful!
This may sound odd to you but I am finding comfort in thinking that God loves me even if I get kicked out of school for talking English, or I fail my class, or I finish without learning anything. I know it may seem odd, but I get a lot of comfort from the knowledge that His love for me is all about what Jesus did and not about what I do. It takes off all the pressure to be an awesome person, succeed at everything and change the world for the better. When there is no pressure, I feel free to do better. It's weird, I guess.
Perhaps I should also be encouraged by the fact that I have a home with Jesus.
He will always love me and I will always belong with Him even if I never truly belong anywhere on this here earth.
Well there you have it, my thoughts. Pretty dull and sappy eh? I am sorry.
Friday, 17 May 2013
What I have learned in French :)
I don't know who would want to read this but I've been writing my days in French so I'd have something to say at dinner with my host and I'd thought I'd share it just for fun. Later I may share my thoughts in general about the program.
Jeudi
Dans la matinée, j'ai appris le français à l'école française. Je suis dans la salle de classe primaire. Le nom de mon professeur est Charlotte. Je m'assois avec mes amis, Emily et Lucas et nous nous asseyons ensemble pour le dîner aussi.
Aujourd'hui, dans ma classe du matin, j'ai appris expressions. J'ai appris salutations, questions et réponses en français. Dans l'après-midi, je suis allé au champ de Louvois. Dans le domaine de Louvois J'ai parlé avec deux personnes âgées et un autre étudiant. Son nom est Cleo. Nous avons parlé et joué pendant une heure et ensuite aidés dans le bureau. Dans la soirée, nous avons joué au volley-ball. Et Voila, ma journée.
vendredi
Aujourd'hui, dans ma classe du matin, j'ai appris sur les verbes aller et d'être. Nous avons examiné expressions, salutations, questions, réponses et phoniques pour un test, nous allons écrire le lundi.
J'ai cherché pour mon téléphone, mais je n'ai pas trouvé mon telephone.
Jeudi
Dans la matinée, j'ai appris le français à l'école française. Je suis dans la salle de classe primaire. Le nom de mon professeur est Charlotte. Je m'assois avec mes amis, Emily et Lucas et nous nous asseyons ensemble pour le dîner aussi.
Aujourd'hui, dans ma classe du matin, j'ai appris expressions. J'ai appris salutations, questions et réponses en français. Dans l'après-midi, je suis allé au champ de Louvois. Dans le domaine de Louvois J'ai parlé avec deux personnes âgées et un autre étudiant. Son nom est Cleo. Nous avons parlé et joué pendant une heure et ensuite aidés dans le bureau. Dans la soirée, nous avons joué au volley-ball. Et Voila, ma journée.
vendredi
Aujourd'hui, dans ma classe du matin, j'ai appris sur les verbes aller et d'être. Nous avons examiné expressions, salutations, questions, réponses et phoniques pour un test, nous allons écrire le lundi.
J'ai cherché pour mon téléphone, mais je n'ai pas trouvé mon telephone.
Saturday, 11 May 2013
For anyone out of reach of a fulfilling career.
For anyone out of reach of a fulfilling career.
Or why we should encourage interdependence as opposed to independence.
This is for the person working their butt off to get a degree that might be useless and all the while worrying about the future. This is for the couple who just found out they are going to have a baby, but doesn't know how to support this child, and may feel like this is the end of all their big plans. This is for the high school, college, or university graduate who doesn't know what he or she wants to do next. This is for the one who has been looking for job for so long that they have begun to lose hope. This is for the person whose been going from job to job for a while now and is feeling like they should be doing something bigger. This is for the one who works a handful of part time jobs just to support their family and make those ends meet. This is for the stay at home mom whose husband just died. This is for the person whose financial security has suddenly been shattered by pay cuts, layoffs, bankrupt business, or serious health problems. This is for the one who cannot afford retirement and is regretting the lack of stable income throughout their life. In short this is for anyone out of reach of a fulfilling career. It is very likely that this could be for you, but it is DEFINATELY for me.
As far as I see it, we basically have two options:
1. Research till our eyes fall out of their sockets in order to find that job that a) we enjoy b) pays what we need or want c) has long term potential and (if we are as hard on ourselves when it comes to morality as we are when it comes to academics, finances, and work ethic) d) seems like it will allow us to make a positive impact on the world, and then work our butts off trying to grasp this job.
Or
2. Say forget it, shrug our shoulders, and just go wherever life takes us.
Now there are pros and cons to both of these options. I've chosen option number 2 and I'm going to explain why in a moment. However, I would like to say right now that, if you have chosen option number 1, that is totally fine. For your sake I hope you are able to come up with that dream job, able to get it, able to keep it, and that it makes you happy. For me, I can't find a dream job, and I'm not sure I want one, so I'm going with option number 2. The only problem with this option is if life just doesn't take you anywhere. Well I guess life will always take you somewhere, but that somewhere might be homelessness, or living in your mother's house.
Option number 2 may still be better and here is why. (I'm doing this backwards because a. is the toughest point to discuss)
d) For those wanting a job that seems like it will allow us to make a positive impact on the world:
My dad sold pens and when he died the funeral home was filled. My cousin collected a bunch of memories and notes from all his friends, family, and customers and gave them to us in a beautiful book. This is what I learned: you can make a difference doing anything. I used to think that you needed to be in activism or politics and make a really big change in the way things are done in order for your life to be worthwhile, but I don't think that anymore. Here is why: you can't legislate love.
Back in the old testament God's ways (bear with me for a second and just go with the presumption that God's ways are good) were law but nobody really paid attention. People went astray. What changes people's behaviours? (From a Christian perspective) The love of Christ changes our hearts and this is what changes our behaviour. I can't just pass a law saying how the world should be. Even if the majority could agree on what the laws should be (I.E. what is right and good behaviour), there will still always be evil people whose hearts won't match up with the laws and they just won't obey them. Sure we could kill these people or toss them in jail but that doesn't fix the heart problem which I believe pervades in less noticeable ways in even the most innocent of lives. I believe love fixes the heart problem and I believe true love comes from God. Maybe you can't get with this way of thinking, and that's cool. I wish you the best of luck on your endeavors to make the world a better place, but for me I just want to get to know the love of Jesus and let it change me and fill me so I can walk in His ways, no matter where I am or what I'm doing, loving everyone with the love of Jesus. As far as I can see, that is a way I could change the world even from the receiving line of a soup kitchen.
c) and b) For all those wanting a job that b) pays what we need or want and c) has long term potential:
These two are related because even if you manage to achieve b) there is still always that worry that it won't last. First off I would like to say that if your worry here is just finding a job that pays what you WANT I challenge you to live on less. However, if you are actually struggling to keep yourself and your loved ones clothed, housed, and fed, I understand. That sucks and if you think the way out of this dark time is through a job change, well I support you and if there is something I might be able to do for you as you work through this time, let me know. However, in my observations of this here universe I have noticed that things often (not always, but often) have a way of working out and people often (again not always) have a way of making it through. You have to understand that I am speaking to myself on this one. I'm not trying to minimize your crappy situation, I get that poverty is a real problem, but I think I may be unrealistically afraid of homelessness and I'm trying to reassure myself by saying that no matter what happens it will probably work out. I may have to go back home for a while or couch surf for a while or work a super duper crappy job for a while, but it will probably work out. (Even if it doesn't, it just might be possible to find joy when you are homeless, but more on that in section a.) One thing I would like to say, while we are on the subject of money, is that I think our society may need a shift in thinking. Maybe instead of trying to raise up independent hardworking people we need to raise up a generation of people who take care of each other. As far as I can see, most people have times where they need help and times where they can help. If we encourage people to make careful decisions about their future and then work hard towards those goals we may encourage them on a path of hating themselves if they fail, and on a path of no generosity. I'm all for interdependence not independence.
a) For those looking for a job that they can enjoy: Actually, I'm not going to say much about this one. I don't know where happiness/ joy/ peace/ or contentment comes from. Does it come from God? Is it a choice? Is it completely or a little bit based on circumstances? Does it come from within yourself? Is it all about being positive or thankful? I don't know, I'm still struggling with metaphorical and emotional mountains and lack of joy but all I know is I've had awesome jobs that I enjoyed, and I was still miserable. So if a job you enjoy makes you happy, cool beans, and if you are convinced that there is no way to enjoy your miserable job, I'm sorry to hear that, but I would challenge you to at least consider the possibility that happiness is equally attainable or unattainable no matter what job you have and that every job is going to have things you like and things you don't.
Well that's it folks. I'd love to hear what you have to say on the matter. If you made it this far you are truly awesome thanks for reading my thoughts.
Or why we should encourage interdependence as opposed to independence.
This is for the person working their butt off to get a degree that might be useless and all the while worrying about the future. This is for the couple who just found out they are going to have a baby, but doesn't know how to support this child, and may feel like this is the end of all their big plans. This is for the high school, college, or university graduate who doesn't know what he or she wants to do next. This is for the one who has been looking for job for so long that they have begun to lose hope. This is for the person whose been going from job to job for a while now and is feeling like they should be doing something bigger. This is for the one who works a handful of part time jobs just to support their family and make those ends meet. This is for the stay at home mom whose husband just died. This is for the person whose financial security has suddenly been shattered by pay cuts, layoffs, bankrupt business, or serious health problems. This is for the one who cannot afford retirement and is regretting the lack of stable income throughout their life. In short this is for anyone out of reach of a fulfilling career. It is very likely that this could be for you, but it is DEFINATELY for me.
As far as I see it, we basically have two options:
1. Research till our eyes fall out of their sockets in order to find that job that a) we enjoy b) pays what we need or want c) has long term potential and (if we are as hard on ourselves when it comes to morality as we are when it comes to academics, finances, and work ethic) d) seems like it will allow us to make a positive impact on the world, and then work our butts off trying to grasp this job.
Or
2. Say forget it, shrug our shoulders, and just go wherever life takes us.
Now there are pros and cons to both of these options. I've chosen option number 2 and I'm going to explain why in a moment. However, I would like to say right now that, if you have chosen option number 1, that is totally fine. For your sake I hope you are able to come up with that dream job, able to get it, able to keep it, and that it makes you happy. For me, I can't find a dream job, and I'm not sure I want one, so I'm going with option number 2. The only problem with this option is if life just doesn't take you anywhere. Well I guess life will always take you somewhere, but that somewhere might be homelessness, or living in your mother's house.
Option number 2 may still be better and here is why. (I'm doing this backwards because a. is the toughest point to discuss)
d) For those wanting a job that seems like it will allow us to make a positive impact on the world:
My dad sold pens and when he died the funeral home was filled. My cousin collected a bunch of memories and notes from all his friends, family, and customers and gave them to us in a beautiful book. This is what I learned: you can make a difference doing anything. I used to think that you needed to be in activism or politics and make a really big change in the way things are done in order for your life to be worthwhile, but I don't think that anymore. Here is why: you can't legislate love.
Back in the old testament God's ways (bear with me for a second and just go with the presumption that God's ways are good) were law but nobody really paid attention. People went astray. What changes people's behaviours? (From a Christian perspective) The love of Christ changes our hearts and this is what changes our behaviour. I can't just pass a law saying how the world should be. Even if the majority could agree on what the laws should be (I.E. what is right and good behaviour), there will still always be evil people whose hearts won't match up with the laws and they just won't obey them. Sure we could kill these people or toss them in jail but that doesn't fix the heart problem which I believe pervades in less noticeable ways in even the most innocent of lives. I believe love fixes the heart problem and I believe true love comes from God. Maybe you can't get with this way of thinking, and that's cool. I wish you the best of luck on your endeavors to make the world a better place, but for me I just want to get to know the love of Jesus and let it change me and fill me so I can walk in His ways, no matter where I am or what I'm doing, loving everyone with the love of Jesus. As far as I can see, that is a way I could change the world even from the receiving line of a soup kitchen.
c) and b) For all those wanting a job that b) pays what we need or want and c) has long term potential:
These two are related because even if you manage to achieve b) there is still always that worry that it won't last. First off I would like to say that if your worry here is just finding a job that pays what you WANT I challenge you to live on less. However, if you are actually struggling to keep yourself and your loved ones clothed, housed, and fed, I understand. That sucks and if you think the way out of this dark time is through a job change, well I support you and if there is something I might be able to do for you as you work through this time, let me know. However, in my observations of this here universe I have noticed that things often (not always, but often) have a way of working out and people often (again not always) have a way of making it through. You have to understand that I am speaking to myself on this one. I'm not trying to minimize your crappy situation, I get that poverty is a real problem, but I think I may be unrealistically afraid of homelessness and I'm trying to reassure myself by saying that no matter what happens it will probably work out. I may have to go back home for a while or couch surf for a while or work a super duper crappy job for a while, but it will probably work out. (Even if it doesn't, it just might be possible to find joy when you are homeless, but more on that in section a.) One thing I would like to say, while we are on the subject of money, is that I think our society may need a shift in thinking. Maybe instead of trying to raise up independent hardworking people we need to raise up a generation of people who take care of each other. As far as I can see, most people have times where they need help and times where they can help. If we encourage people to make careful decisions about their future and then work hard towards those goals we may encourage them on a path of hating themselves if they fail, and on a path of no generosity. I'm all for interdependence not independence.
a) For those looking for a job that they can enjoy: Actually, I'm not going to say much about this one. I don't know where happiness/ joy/ peace/ or contentment comes from. Does it come from God? Is it a choice? Is it completely or a little bit based on circumstances? Does it come from within yourself? Is it all about being positive or thankful? I don't know, I'm still struggling with metaphorical and emotional mountains and lack of joy but all I know is I've had awesome jobs that I enjoyed, and I was still miserable. So if a job you enjoy makes you happy, cool beans, and if you are convinced that there is no way to enjoy your miserable job, I'm sorry to hear that, but I would challenge you to at least consider the possibility that happiness is equally attainable or unattainable no matter what job you have and that every job is going to have things you like and things you don't.
Well that's it folks. I'd love to hear what you have to say on the matter. If you made it this far you are truly awesome thanks for reading my thoughts.
Wednesday, 8 May 2013
Rant on why I wish I wanted more.
Ok so here's my problem, I'm like 21 right? and I'm about to graduate, so I'm at that age when everyone's like ooo plans! ooo dreams! ooo goals! ooo achievements! ooo success! Yes many people my age don't know what they want to do next, but everyone is at least working on making a plan. It seems like having a solid plan and working towards it with gusto makes one a more respectable member of society. Just think about all the "inspirational" quotations that are about working towards achieving your goals? I'm all for hard work! I just don't know what to work towards. I know people working crazy hard towards these big goals and I'm just over here like "dude, I woke up today, I withheld from being a jerk that one time and I was nice to the lady at the bank and made her smile, and I fully appreciated those dandelions, and I grew in my understanding of such and such, ooo successful day woop woop." That's enough for me, I don't need a grown up job, I don't need a husband, I don't need a real house, I don't need a car, I don't even need to graduate. Though of course, some of those things I would not object to if that's where my life goes but I'll get over it if that's not what happens so it's not like I have a goal and a five year plan through which to work towards that goal. I want to continue to grow in understanding and maturity, and to continue making people smile. That means I want to stay alive. That means I want a way to pay for groceries. I wouldn't mind a certain element of comfort, which means I also need to be able to pay for rent and clothing. That is not much of a game plan. The only other thing that I know I really really want is to some day have a dog. Imagine if someone asked me what my plan/dream/goal is and I told them it was to someday be financially stable enough to own a dog? I feel weird because I have no dream or goal or plan when everyone is always talking about working towards your achievements and I don't even have anything to work towards. Maybe I need to want something more so I can have a plan? But I thought it was a good thing to be happy with what you have? I guess there is nothing wrong with floating around in the moment. Yay for unique-osity, but by golly I need at least the teeniest fragment of a plan because at the very least I need to find a job so I can pay for my groceries, but in this economy that's harder than it sounds. Growing up is way more confusing than I thought it would be.
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