To Leave or Not to Leave: A Pondering Poem

I dream about leaving,
Like others dream about winning.
I wouldn't take much along for the ride,
Or I'd risk leaving nothing behind.
But even just taking the clothes I am wearing
Is taking much more than I am daring.
No matter how little I take with me,
I can never escape from my memory.
And so I stay, as leaving would change nothing.
Or is this just a cynical and weak escape from running?
Does it take more bravery to stay or go?
The only answer I have is: I don't know.

A poem for my school poems about a tree that isn't actually about a tree

And just to shake things up a bit
This one's not about the tree now is it?
This one's for my Dad.
You know he sometimes made me oh so mad,
Yet he was like my own personal pine tree
Staying strong and safe
And  pointing up consistently
Like a tree he was there for me from start to fin
And he always listened when I would talk
But like a tree, when there was something I could learn from him
Well that's when I'd up and go take a walk
And my biggest regret now that he's gone
Is that we never really talked one on one
It's like these trees that we just ignore
Even though giving us OXYGEN is their daily chore
And it really kind of has to stop me
I mean, If I ignored my dad, and I ignore this tree
Who else am I forgetting to listen to?
And how much more poop could this get me into?

Where I am right now

Sometimes my light inside feels so dim,
As most of me tries to run from Him,
But the funny thing is that I never do.
Cause He always says "child I'm holding onto you."
And I'm coming to see
Just how much I believe.
One thing I never want to do is lie
About how I really feel inside.
My confusion burns brighter than any thing else  sometimes
But I'm not ready to leave it all behind.
I have never been willing to lie to belong,
Though I think a lot of people
Thought I was just afraid to admit I was wrong.
Now I'm wondering if I have to be firmly on either side
of this ever so argumentative line.
Someday my faith may be strong enough
Or I may find a way to prove some stuff,
But, for now, I won't let go
Just because of what I don't know.
I feel like listening to my heart
May just be a good place to start.
Yet, I'm still not willing
to embrace illogical living.
For now I shall be honest about what I can and cannot see
While I'm waiting to take another step either way I hope you'll be patient with me.
I want you to know I don't plan to stay here forever
I just can't move till my head and heart agree with each other.
So can I do this at my pace?
And can you maybe give me just a little grace?

A Poem I wrote for School

Do you ever feel like you are on your own?

Even in a room full of people do you feel alone?

Sometimes I feel so confined

To the world inside my mind

I’ve tried to bring with me all that I love

But it’s just a shadow of the real world above.

Then one day,

I found another way.

I came to this circle with my misunderstandings of struggles, identities, inside, outside

My brain full of questions like “did I belong or didn’t I?”

But I entered any way

And I got a real surprise that day.

It was a hand

Yep, just a hand,

No big deal, I’ve seen a lot of hands in my time,

But this one, this one was reaching for mine.

And what do you know? My hand responded with a mind of its own

There were two hands there, holding on across some fuzzy no man’s zone

Wow, we were truly together,

But we didn’t even know each other

There’s something about hands

Those reaching fingers like powerful connecting bands.